Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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