i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
