found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
