week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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