This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
