I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
