What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
