Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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