if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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