margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
