You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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