So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
