New invention idea: vibrating tampons
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
