dude i'm inner monologue high
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
