I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Can you bring me the toilet please
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
The Olympian is in my bed
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
