She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Oh god it's open bar.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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