So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
