in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
