I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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