You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
