READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
