somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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