what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Help. Why am I so naked?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
