He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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