i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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