Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
