so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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