Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
