And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize