just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize
