Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Randomize
