My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
