Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
