508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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