obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Randomize
