Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
