Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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