You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
No I am not eating basil off your cock
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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