yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
