Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
