Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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