Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
