Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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