I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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