piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
