Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize