did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
