wanna go halves on a baby?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize