just survived the first fart of the relationship.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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