Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
