After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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