Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
