I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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