On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i was born a porn star she said
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Randomize
