Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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