I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize