Buhtt sex?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Pants are for mortals
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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