Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
