Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I've blown a few things in my day
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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