Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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