Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
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