I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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